he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize