He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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