How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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