I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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