I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
