he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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