Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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