i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize