what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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