Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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