Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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