home. puking in laundry basket.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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