He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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