I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
