Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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