living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
