Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
