is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
