Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
