he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i barfeds in our rink
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
