gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
