How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
