I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
