so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
