but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
