Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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