Got a toothbrush?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
