It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
