it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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