you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
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