i need an iv and a liver transplant
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
