I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
