the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
