so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
