Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
