how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
