Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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