i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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