I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
