The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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