There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
