4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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