There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize