3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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