I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
