CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
