a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
