are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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