remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
