He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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