Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My cat gives me a boner
I wish you could order shots online.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
