Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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