just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
