Im at strip club and am horny
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
