Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
