my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
