I'm passing your future prison.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
