Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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