dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
