I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
