Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
