So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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