When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
