Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
