brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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