i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
