I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
