She is in my trunk
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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